The Softer and Closer Approach
Written by Dr. John Carosso
How it all began
Many years ago, starting out as a Psychologist, I came across a Principal who established a ritual with his teachers. At the conclusion of every morning meeting, he would huddle the teachers together and lead a chant “softer and closer” repeated four to five times, before sending the teachers off to their students.
Repeat after me…
I am hard pressed to contemplate a more significant or relevant mantra for teachers or parents. I have espoused the “softer and closer” approach since that time, and can think of no better way to connect with a child. Getting on the child’s level, moving-in close, and speaking in a soft tone, if not a whisper, is remarkably powerful, comforting, and bonding for a child in any situation, but especially when the child is experiencing a difficulty and needs supportive guidance.
Go get softer and closer
Try it with your own child; rather than standing across the room and yelling, get close, soft, and comforting in tone, and see the difference.
I’ve also espoused time-in rather than time-out. Of course, the latter is necessary at times, but far too often we neglect trying the former. Try it, the softer and closer approach, and see the difference.
Dr. John Carosso
Latest posts by Dr. John Carosso (see all)
- Are You Relying On Airwaves To Discipline Your Child? - July 17, 2019
- Summer Fun with the Kids & Summer Camp Guide - May 21, 2019
- What’s the Best Strategy for ADHD? - May 14, 2019
- Is There a “Cure” for Dyslexia? - May 7, 2019
- All About Dyslexia: Learn About Dyslexia and How To Get Help! - March 8, 2019